What a wonderful day it is. I woke up just feeling I wanted to read a book, and guess what? I saw the book that my wife (She) always wanted me to read and haven’t found the time to do so or just making an excuse doing something for me not to be able to read it.
Well, I’ve now read the first part of the book (by the way, it’s a marriage book that talks about questions couples ask) and the topic is about communication. No wonder she wanted me to read it! I should have known! Grrrr!
Anyways, it is a fact that each time we read a book, we are the ones who dictates if we want to benefit from it or not. I chose the former and will include my readers to also learn from it in the process.
Too many people have said that listening is the most important part of good communication not only in marriage but also in the way we communicate with others.
So, here are five things that I think we should know about listening:
1. Listening is basic to learning.
— In fact, listening consumes more time than reading, speaking, and writing combined. When you consider this fact, it should come as a surprise to realize that good listening is a “must” for every successful communication. I always like the quotation, “go back to the basics.” If you want to start learning then you should start listening.
2. Listening is love in action.
— Nowhere is it more appropriate than in marriage, or, if you are not married yet, it is telling someone that you care about him or her. Yet, many of us never truly listen. Maybe this is the best time to express our love to others through listening.
3. Listening is a sign of affirmation.
— When we truly listen, we contribute to each other’s self-esteem. When we don’t, the interpretation is frequently negative. Be honest. How do you feel when you sense that someone is not listening to you? Without being listened to, feelings of rejection are almost inevitable.
4. Listening requires you to set aside preconceived ideas or judgments and convey a message of acceptance of the messenger.
— Try to think about this, when you are listened to, genuinely listened to, you feel that that person is someone with whom you can fully know and share all of your inner thoughts, weakness, and foibles—because he or she accepts you.
5. Listening opens up another’s spirit.
— When someone is speaking and you are not preoccupied or distracted, you are, in effect, saying, “You are very important to me, and I am interested in you.” This taps into his or her deepest need to be understood, and in return he or she will open up all the more. The truth is — if we really want to know someone then we should really learn how to listen and understand.
I know that there are so many things that you can add to this list but here is just my point of view — every conflict and misunderstanding can be resolved if each of us will just seek to understand before being understood — in other words, if each of us would learn to listen.
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